b a c k t o t h e n e w s t u f f

Ancient Secret Site Map

Archives of a madman

Writings

2003

2001

dismember b i r d w a t c h i n g g u i d e f o r s e n i o r s h o w t o h a t e e v e r y t h i n g

nevember t h e w o r l d s u c k s

spocktober r a t r a c e s h o w t o g e t f i r e d

craptember n o p a r k i n g t h e 2's d a y c h r o n i c l e s

Aw, Gus! s h o w n o m e r c y h o w t o d i f f u s e a t i c k i n g t i m e b o m b e l n i n o? r a z o r f i s h c u l t o f t h e b a b y

Jolly Julie t a k i n o u t t h e t r a s h

June t o d a y i s n ' t s p e c i a l i ' m a l b e r t a n a n g e r y u p d a t e

MAYONAISSE a s a l u t e t o t h e h u m o r i s t s t h e m u m m y t h e p o l i c e t i n y a n a r c h i s t s m a k e m e s i c k i m p r e s s i v e d?

April-io m o s t l y h a r m l e s s a n d m a y b e i ' m a c h i n e s e j e t p i l o t

Morchh a l o h a l o i t s t h u r s d a y3 6 0 d e g r e e s o f c h e e s eb l u e t h u n d e rm o r e p r e a c h y b u l l s h i t?

Schmebruary d u d e, w h e r e ' s m y o s c a r?l o c k s s u c kw i c c a ne g o s h m e g oh o w t o m a k e a s o l i d g o l d s t a t u e o fy o u r s e l f g a l a p a g o s

Cranbruary f a h r v e g n u g e ng o o d o l d d a y sb e s t o f t h e w e b3 - 2 - 1 B R A S T O F Fs h o p p i n g a t b e r n i e s

2000 AD

Dismemberh e a d l i n e sw i s h l i s tr a n d o m w e b c r a pB e a r A t t a c kK r a z y K o w sm a s t h e a dg u e s t w r i t e r g i r l r e t u r n

November Rainw i n t e r m o v i e r o d e ow h a t t h e s h i t ? c o m p u t e r s t o r e

Sock-toe-bore g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l p a r t 2 h e a d l i n e sm u c h s u c k s t h a n k s g i v i n' p. s. i l o v e y o us c r e w n i v e r s i t y

Sep-tim-bor h a i k u s h o n d a b o tg u e s t w r i t e r g i r ls p l e e n v e n t i n g

August l a t e n i g h t t vg r a t i n g e x p e c t a t i o n sm i n e s w e e p e ru n d e r s t a n d i n g w i t c h e ss c i e n c e

Julym y c a t t h e k a m i k a z e em a k i n c h a n g ef a l l i n g a p a r tb l a s t o f fa i r s a f e t y

June to be forgottenb e i n g b r i t i s hn e a t a n d p e r f e c t l y s a f e p r o g r a md o n t s h a k e t h e b a b y e-c a r dw a n d e r i n gP l a t y p u s s y

May the schwarz be with youO r i g i n sD o l p h i n sH e a d l i n e s5 t h i n g s t h a t s u c kS a n i t y ?

April Whining T e c h s u p p o r t D e a t h s e a r c h M o n e y B u i l d y o u r o w n g u n B l e e d m e W a l k m a n ' s f l a m i n g o ' s s o y l e n t g r e e n

Lousy Smarch M a z d a o f t h e u n i v e r s e S p h e r e s? R o l e M o d e l D i a r y o f a m a d m a n A P r o f e s s i o n a l M o z a r t E a r l ' s G a m e S t u d e n t C o u n s e l D y s e n t a r y

February Shmebruary T h y m e f o r l i v i n L e t a f r o w n b e y o u r u m b r e l l a T h e Students N a s h B r i t c h e s S l e e p i t o f f

January of the damned T h e t i n y a r m o f t r u t h D i f f r e n t S t r o k e s M r N i c e g u y P a p e r c h a s e R e l a t i v i t i n e s s f e e l i n g n u t s ? R a g s

1999

December of the disappointed m e r r y j e s u s d a y w h a t d e f i n e s m e N o t a l l g i r l s l i k e p i a n i s t s u n m a r k e t B a l l m a r t c e n t u r y r o u n d u p

November 1999 1 2 I n c h P i a n i s t K i r b y ' s L a m e n t S h a r k s R F u n F o x S o l o n g K i d s f o r S a l e D e a t h t o W e a s e l ! A n e w h o p e

October 1999 B a c k i n t h i s ! V e r m i n p t . 1 V e r m i n p t . 2 S c r e w Y e a r s E v e 1 9 9 4 B o t t l e B r i d g e = B u r n G i v e i t t h e B u s i n e s s M a i l V o l c a n o A w a r e n e s s M o n t h G u e s t W r i t e r ! H o l y s h i t !

And hear are some of the first writings ever

Modern Living GAP uber alles Quizzicals and Testicles 7 signs Sketchers Telefomore See the Future Hear me rant

Anti-Social Acts For Lazy Jerks S.S. Freedom Trying is bad Virtual Luge, Time and Space Y2K Prep Kit Free OJ

Entertainment Archin aroun Purple teletubby Dateless

Food and Cooking Eat dead things Tippin the Scales

The classic and incredibly good not so old stuff

The old stuff is a little less lousy than the garbage I wrote recently, read this and don't even bother will the new crap I just wrote, it all stinks anyway. Even this stuff sucks, go check out The Boy Meets World site on NBC.com, it must be better that this. Click me to see the Classics

Fun Site Map/Tree

New Writing

Modern Living

Food and Cooking

Entertainment

Antisocial acts for Lazy Jerks

Preachy crap!

Other Things

dismember
b i r d w a t c h i n g g u i d e f o r s e n i o r s
h o w t o h a t e e v e r y t h i n g

nevember
t h e w o r l d s u c k s

spocktober
r a t r a c e s
h o w t o g e t f i r e d

craptember
n o p a r k i n g
t h e 2's d a y c h r o n i c l e s

Aw, Gus!
s h o w n o m e r c y
h o w t o d i f f u s e a t i c k i n g t i m e b o m b
e l n i n o?
r a z o r f i s h
c u l t o f t h e b a b y

Jolly Julie
t a k i n o u t t h e t r a s h

June
t o d a y i s n ' t s p e c i a l
i ' m a l b e r t a n
a n g e r y
u p d a t e

MAYONAISSE
a s a l u t e t o t h e h u m o r i s t s
t h e m u m m y
t h e p o l i c e
t i n y a n a r c h i s t s m a k e m e s i c k
i m p r e s s i v e d?

April-io
m o s t l y h a r m l e s s
a n d m a y b e i ' m a c h i n e s e j e t p i l o t

Morch
h a l o h a l o i t s t h u r s d a y
3 6 0 d e g r e e s o f c h e e s e
b l u e t h u n d e r
m o r e p r e a c h y b u l l s h i t?

Schmebruary
d u d e, w h e r e ' s m y o s c a r?
l o c k s s u c k
w i c c a n
e g o s h m e g o
h o w t o m a k e a s o l i d g o l d s t a t u e o f
y o u r s e l f
g a l a p a g o s

Cranbruary
f a h r v e g n u g e n
g o o d o l d d a y s
b e s t o f t h e w e b
3 - 2 - 1 B R A S T O F F
s h o p p i n g a t b e r n i e s

Dismember
h e a d l i n e s
w i s h l i s t
r a n d o m w e b c r a p
B e a r A t t a c k
K r a z y K o w s
m a s t h e a d
g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l r e t u r n

November Rain
w i n t e r m o v i e r o d e o
w h a t t h e s h i t ?
c o m p u t e r s t o r e

Sock-toe-bore
g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l p a r t 2
h e a d l i n e s
m u c h s u c k s
t h a n k s g i v i n'
p. s. i l o v e y o u
s c r e w n i v e r s i t y

Sep-tim-bor
h a i k u
s h o n d a b o t
g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l
s p l e e n v e n t i n g

August
l a t e n i g h t t v
g r a t i n g e x p e c t a t i o n s
m i n e s w e e p e r
u n d e r s t a n d i n g w i t c h e s
s c i e n c e

July
m y c a t t h e k a m i k a z e e
m a k i n c h a n g e
f a l l i n g a p a r t
b l a s t o f f
a i r s a f e t y

June to be forgotten
b e i n g b r i t i s h
n e a t a n d p e r f e c t l y s a f e p r o g r a m
d o n t s h a k e t h e b a b y e-c a r d
w a n d e r i n g
P l a t y p u s s y

May the schwarz be with you
O r i g i n s
D o l p h i n s
H e a d l i n e s
5 t h i n g s t h a t s u c k
S a n i t y ?

April Whining
T e c h s u p p o r t
D e a t h s e a r c h
M o n e y
B u i l d y o u r o w n g u n
B l e e d m e
W a l k m a n ' s f l a m i n g o ' s s o y l e n t g r e e n

Lousy Smarch
M a z d a o f t h e u n i v e r s e
S p h e r e s?
R o l e M o d e l
D i a r y o f a m a d m a n
A P r o f e s s i o n a l M o z a r t
E a r l ' s G a m e
S t u d e n t C o u n s e l
D y s e n t a r y

February Shmebruary
T h y m e f o r l i v i n
L e t a f r o w n b e y o u r u m b r e l l a
T h e Students
N a s h B r i t c h e s
S l e e p i t o f f

January of the damned
T h e t i n y a r m o f t r u t h
D i f f r e n t S t r o k e s
M r N i c e g u y
P a p e r c h a s e
R e l a t i v i t i n e s s
f e e l i n g n u t s ?
R a g s

December of the disappointed
m e r r y j e s u s d a y
w h a t d e f i n e s m e
N o t a l l g i r l s l i k e p i a n i s t s
u n m a r k e t
B a l l m a r t
c e n t u r y r o u n d u p

November 1999
1 2 I n c h P i a n i s t
K i r b y ' s L a m e n t
S h a r k s R F u n
F o x
S o l o n g
K i d s f o r S a l e
D e a t h t o W e a s e l !
A n e w h o p e

October 1999
B a c k i n t h i s !
V e r m i n p t . 1
V e r m i n p t . 2
S c r e w Y e a r s E v e 1 9 9 4
B o t t l e
B r i d g e = B u r n
G i v e i t t h e B u s i n e s s
M a i l
V o l c a n o A w a r e n e s s M o n t h
G u e s t W r i t e r ! H o l y s h i t !

Modern Living
GAP uber alles
Quizzicals and Testicles
7 signs
Sketchers
Telefomore
See the Future
Hear me rant

Anti-Social Acts For Lazy Jerks
S.S. Freedom
Trying is bad
Virtual Luge,
Time and Space
Y2K Prep Kit
Free OJ

Entertainment
Archin aroun
Purple teletubby
Dateless

Food and Cooking
Eat dead things
Tippin the Scales

The old stuff is a little less lousy than the garbage I wrote recently, read this and don't even bother will the new crap I just wrote, it all stinks anyway. Even this stuff sucks, go check out The Boy Meets World site on NBC.com, it must be better that this.

Click me to see the Classics