Brighton Lessard Writings Page |
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(by dstb editor-in-chief el presidente) I will establish a little background here. In the spring of 2001 our friend Brighton Lessard moved to Japan to teach english. Following in the highly original footsteps of itinerant psychology or art history graduates by moving to an Asian country was a dubious plan to say the least, but Brighton did it. I thought he would die within a month but he didn't. As he and Asia get to know each other he has been sending frequent spam emails to a short list of 50 or so people. I have decided those emails now count as submissions to his body of work on dontshakethebaby and so I am posting them here as the Yokohama tour diaries without his knowledge as a fun surprise for him. It took me almost an hour to assemble these emails into web pages, fuck is this webmastering shit tiring.
get the caskets ready/fatten down the hatches putting the FUN back in fundamentalism does anyone else share my thoughts? the summer wind came blowing in from across the sea same fat guy, same jokes, different audience a finger in the ass is worth two anywhere else here is another virtual fat guy message when your pour water into bottle, it becomes bottle
Brighton's collected Writin's Portrait of post modern white devil(biography) Brighton was born on the last day of the last month of the last year of the last decade of 1975, more or less. His interest include masturbation, shouting and sleeping. He is a bright young mind who thankfully is adding a sense of both violence and social responsibility to dontshakethebaby. It's about time.
FAQ's about Brighton Lessard Q: Is Brighton Lessard a real person or did dontshakethebaby guy just make up a fake name? A: Just like Brodie Bruce, he is a real person, however unlike Brodie Bruce, he is sixteen inches tall, communicates with me telepathically and has a degree in sociology from Devry. Q: Was Brighton Lessard really the first person to ever tie a balloon to a chicken and float the chicken 340 feet over a crowd of pleased onlookers? A: Yes. Q: Can Brighton Lessard really bend spoons with his mind? A: That depends on who you ask, often the spoon is heated beforehand and then bent with his mind, and fingers. Q: How can I get a hold of Brighton Lessard? A: Go into your bathroom with a single lit candle, face the mirror and say his name three times. Q: If Brighton Lessard purchased and started thumbing through a 200 page penthouse special edition at 3:00pm and flipped pages at an initial rate of 3 pages a minute, then accelerated flipping pages at the integral of the function 3x^5 + 18x^3 + 2xy^2, when would he finish? A: Brighton can't afford penthouse magazine, he only reads pornography he finds in the woods. Q: What is the difference between the internet and the world wide web? A: One has chat rooms and was invented by Al Gore, the other is made of apples |
