360 degrees of cheese.
That is the tag line of pizza huts stuffed crust pizza, as seen in the hands of magicians Penn and Teller, 2 people who will do absolutely anything for money.
Cheese in the crust of a pizza? The future is now my friends. I am aware of course they already introduced stuffed crust pizza years ago, but since they are re-introducing it, I will re-mock the introduction. If we could bring people from the past into today, what would they think of this modern dreamland of technological marvels?
Great Ghost of Lincoln, you have filled the sky with mechanical birds and ye flies around within the bellies of these beasts, your carriages move without steeds to pull them? Your pizza has a crust filled with some distant cousin to mozzarella? I can never again return to the simple times of horses, locomotives and plain pizza.
What was my point, what will people do for money?
Here's something funny, in my country of Ca-na-duh! we have a political party known as the alliance party. Unlike the Rebel Alliance of star wars, these peoples political views are more in harmony with the empire, or brown shirts, whichever. I am no big fan of fascism, or capitalism, or rich people, government, big business, middle business, small business, universities, schools, hospitals, houses, sheds, dogs, cats, bees, germs, molecules, atoms or subatomic particles. I don't like fascism most of all, because its shitty for everyone who isn't on the same side as the fascist.
So because I live in the wild west where for some reason everyone seems to think they are rich geniuses who should never pay taxes, everyone votes for the peoples fascist alliance party. Taxes are so bad, oh no, you mean those roads and schools and social order and health care I rely on cost money? That's unfair!
Recently this guy Rahim Jaffer, one of the members of Parliament and Alliance Party representative is supposed to do a radio interview, so he sends an assistant to pretend to be him at the interview. After the radio station super sleuth detectives figures out that this doppleganger Guy Incognito is in fact not actually the real Jaffer they confront the possibly actual Jaffer and he denies it. Then he confesses that it wasn't him.
Where did this guy get his political strategy from, The Flintstones? Why did he send a guy to do the interview for him? Because he's crazy. The leader of the alliance party Stockwell Day settled a $800,000 libel lawsuit and the settlement was paid for by the taxpayer. He was sued for accusing a lawyer defending a child molester of being a child molester supporter. This is funny for 2 reasons. Reason 1, due process is the basis of a functioning justice system, if people aren't allowed to defend themselves then the state can randomly punish innocent and guilty based on what is most fun for them. Innocent people shouldn't go to jail.
Reason 2, his views are retarded, fine, but he should pay for the lawsuit, not the taxpayer. If he wasn't such a fool he would have kept his big mouth shut and not publicly slandered a fucking lawyer. What kind of idiot publicly slanders a lawyer? Think an angry lawyer will sue? Probably.
So the Alliance Party is opposed to taxes, poor people, civil liberties, immigrants, heathen religions, homosexuals, books, ideas, etc. Yet with all their rally cries for accountable government they lie, send celebrity impersonators to radio interviews, and make tax payers pay for their brain dead statements.
So if they aren't actually in politics to make government accountable, honest and help the tax payer, why are they?
I am now a utopian communist, I believe that one day capitalism will be smashed, I hope I'm there to see it, and do a little of the smashin, but who knows. I ain't stupid though, and I have no intention of crafting my anti capitalist schemes in coffee shops with like minded masturbators who are less of a threat to capitalism than a mouse to a giant capitalist mouse killing droid. I like money, and I have no ethical problem competing in a capitalist world for money, if I get your money, good for me. I'll spend it better than you anyway. I will use it to further the global cause of screwing the rich. Those bastards.