I can't be sure about this, but assume every city has at least one top 40 radio station, in Edmonton Canada that particular station is called power 92. I'm sure in your city its called power 101 or power 89 or some other force/number. Unlike WKRP this radio station offers neither a Johnny Fever or a Venus Flytrap, but it does have a guy who calls himself shotgun shawn. Radio DJ's are the evolutionary zenith of DJ's in my opinion. They must laugh almost as loud as I do at all the kids in baggy shorts spinning break beats in bars and basements to a crowd of disinterested morons who can't dance anyway.
Shotgun shawn must think: Ha, when I play nelly furtado 65 times a day over 40,000 people hear it. But I don't because I hate you nelly furtado, and as soon as my sister gets me that interview at Global I'm a fucking ghost to this place!
Anyway, despite what I may think of top 40 music it has a place in society to entertain the shumbling herds, and since I would rather they were entertained than angry its a good thing, plus it keeps them from hanging around good shows.
This radio station has entered a partnership with burger king to raise money for the police in edmonton to buy a police helicopter. Edmonton does not need a police helicopter, we barely need police cars. In fact, I think the police should ride the bus.
Apparently the Robocop program wasn't getting results so now they want a helicopter. Edmonton has no crime, and our police force has crime envy, its like penis envy, they wish they had real crime like other cities. They also have penis envy. Our city is safe and boring. For a long time the cops were worried about asian gangs. Asian gangs are no threat to anybody except people who are in deep trouble already. If you owe an asian gang money the fact they are an asian gang is coincidental. If you didn't owe it to them it would be the hell's angels, or the russian mob. This is because you're doing most of your business in that legal grey area called illegal crime.
The last thing this city needs is blue thunder whooshing around making dogs bark and being mistaken for UFO's by paranoids. And once they figure out we have no use for this hovering mistake the cops are gonna start using this thing to hand out speeding tickets, primarily to me. The operating costs for a police helicopter are $1,000,000 a year for 1000 hours of flying around, and another $500,000 for the required jackets, t-shirts and sunglasses. That means they have to give out between 10 and 20 speeding tickets an hour just to keep that thing in the sky. I don't like the sound of that.
Why not give that million dollars to Airwolf, they already have the infrastructure and rocket launchers in place.
What is so clever is that the police partnered with top 40 radio to spread their message of airborne justice. I wish I had the genius to come up with this myself. They cleverly selected this radio station with the largest population of easily led androids who once they hear anything 5 times think its a good idea. But its not.
(note: In the first draft of this I concluded the article with something pretty offensive to just about everyone, but I took it out.)