We are all related to each other in some way, I mean in the sense that we all descended from common ancestors, and also in the sense that we are all somewhat similar, two eyes, two lungs, two arms and legs (usually). But some of us are more related than that, as in me and my older brother. I only have one brother, him, and he's really big, 6'3". We used to scrap all the time and he could whip my ass, and now I'm a tougher kid for it. I would like to tell a little story about my brother.
Truly though, he is more than just a breathing incubator for me to harvest blood and organs from in the future. I don't say this kind of thing about just anyone, but in this case I am being totally and utterly sincere when I say this, he's my parents other son. Now we all know this world is a stinking rat filled mess, and we all like to race around for some reason, but not him. He does things like try not to hurt other peoples feelings, and if they are hurt, he sincerely cares. He is smart and generous, he takes people seriously but doesn't take himself seriously. He makes the rest of us selfish cunts look like the jerks that we are. He is in my opinion one of the select humans on the planet worthy of love and respect. That's why he is the first person ever to receive the soon to be much sought after "A better man than me, and all around top notch bastard" award.
I recently registered this domain name and moved my site onto necrosys.net, not a bad operation in my opinion. The guy who runs it is pretty cool. Registering a domain name costs 110 bucks Canadian, or 32 dollars american, and you have to pay by credit card. The only thing my credit card is good for is prying open locks a la Simon & Simon so he helped me out. I had to cobble together the cash to pay those imperialist dirtbags at internic so I financed this big move with some of the dodgiest schemes you don't want to even know about. I can thank my Gramma for unknowingly kicking in the 50 bucks that she sends me every Christmas in a card. I think its hush money for something, but I don't know what I have on her that makes her so edgy she's gotta keep me quiet.
So I scrabble together most of the money, and my brother covers the rest, which I promise to pay him as soon as we're done. I promise to pay him, by loading the empty booze bottles lying around my home into his truck and driving me to the depot. He is so cool that he actually accepts this as a reasonable exchange of commerce. This is why I love the guy. We load up the truck and drive around to every bottle depot in town, which all must apparently close at sundown to prevent the employees from being killed by bums or werewolves.
The only thing more pathetic than a guy using the bottle return money from his stack of empties to pay for the domain registration with internic is the guy who is so fucking shifty that he can't actually get his useless ass to the bottle depot before they all close for the night. So we took beer-henge on a tour of the city and then reconstructed it in my back stairway. You may not recall beer-henge, but architecturally unsound stacks of paper and glass describe it perfectly.
At some future point maybe a week later we took the bottles to the depot, but it was anticlimactic because neither of us really cared by that point about the whole thing.
My brother is just such a reliable, helpful person. I constantly preach about how people should be helpful and useful. He actually is, while I talk about it, he actually does it. As long as people like him are around, this world will be a livable place. And bro, thanks.