Its time for everything you read to have, "of the millenium" tacked on to it.
The ten greatest men of the millenium
The worst wars of the millenium
The biggest knockers of the millenium
The pattern here is to give everything millenium level status. Not everything that happens in a thousand years is interesting, a lot of it is kind of the same. Farming in germany in 1010 was probably pretty similar to farming in germany in 1110. But the cool thing about the of the millenium craze is that anything is fair game for commentary, no matter how stupid. So I'm hopping on the bandwagon my friends, get ready for the
Most amazing things of history, of the millenium...
Lets take a little trip back through time
Music: Billy Joel writes "We didn't start the fire" two years later Rodney King trial leads to massive arson, Billy Joel was never found responsible.
Seattle sound takes nation by the balls, twists national balls until teens discover rap music more likely to get girls to take shirts off.
Beethoven is deaf, blind and apparently a lousy darts player, but he composes music that makes germans construct highly efficient highway system(this leads to trouble). It is noted however that though he is good, he just can't rock me like Amadeus, come on and rock me Amadeus.
Early in the 12 th century roving minstrels toured Europe and then America with a breakthrough sound, which included hits like "Kashmir, The Song Remains the Same, No Quarter, and Stairway"
Arts: Post Modern art has become a subject of much written and verbal discourse that average people couldn't give a shit about. Mainly, sticking things to walls with tape and peeing on a canvas grip the art community as bold and shocking statements about how pee and tape are interesting.
The cubist, abstract and expressionist periods are ages of creativity and genuis where most of what is painted looks really difficult to paint and impossible to understand. It turns out most of these guys ate their paint, and even more liked to dangle their berries in the paint, which is a little nuts.
The rennaisance is a rebirth of creativity which is mostly about painting fat naked flying babies and women lounging around in outerspace. It gets a little crazy when these naked people get fatter and fatter.
Drama: Arnold Schwarzennegger blows up peoples heads, cars flip over and cities get demolished by meteors, and in the movies much the same stuff happens.
Broadway is a magnet for plays about starving children and drunken southern women. The drama lover is regaled by singing children and moved to consider maybe not running any children over with their car on the way home for the theatre.
Shakespeare grips audiences with semi accurate tales of political intrigue and romance in a language no one could possibly understand. He becomes known as the greatest dramatic writer of all time by people who pretend they know what he's talking about.
Epic tales of heroism, mainly of nordic commandoes decimating villages are the stories passed around from town to town. Giant swedish men kill everything in sight and sink each others boats in a endless bloodbath of rape, livestock theft and sentences ending in "ya".
Economics: Bill Gates creates software monopoly that makes him the richest man ever. Anti monopoly laws imposed on him threaten to break up his giant megacorp, so he launches MSGoldeneye, a satellite that can activate volcanoes to kill the president.
Cold War arms race spurs on American and Russian economy, US develops 25 million dollar bombs, Russia develops tractor with slingshot.
Thomas Jefferson invents lightbulb, radio, telephone and buffalo wings, patents earn him equivalent of 19 dollars today.
Hudsons Bay Company begins trapping beavers in Canadian shield, most trappers decide to stay in Canada after humiliting jokes in British nightclubs when they tell chicks they are a "beaver hunter".