Holy shit!
We just had a canadian long weekend, we celebrated our nations continued dependence on imperialist royals!!!
But really, we canadians are a smart bunch, we don't have capital punishment or guns and there's an 1 to 1 ratio of adult canadians to bars.
We also export more porn and street performers than all the G-7 nations combined.
I'm happy to live in the emptiest country on earth. Most of Canada is just wilderness, trees, rocks, badgers, hippies. In fact, I think I would like it if the animals reclaimed some of the city. I'd like to be unwilling to drive into a neighborhood because it had a reputation for bear attacks. I'd like to see raccoons tossing beer bottles off a rooftop at pedestrians. I guess I just want to combine city and country life into some terrifying thesis of human and non-human aggressions.
Anyway, during the confusion of fireworks this weekend I was shot in the chest with a 12-ball roman candle from about 3 inches away. It knocked me over and left a blast mark on my sweater like storm troopers leave on Jawa sandcrawlers. Plus I'm not 100% certain it wasn't my friend who shot me. Hooray for Canada!