Headlines
Popular Kid Shocked After Receiving Humiliating Comeback To Feeble Insult After an ill conceived attempt at insulting a fat girl he was astonished that even though fat she could still easily outwit him
Local School Christmas Play Receipts And Cash Box Total Suspiciously Different Principal also overhears Assistant Principal who was in charge of cash box talking about his new DVD player
Parents Concerned By Absence of Playstation 2 On Son's Xmas Wish List They comment, he spends all his time reading and doing homework, its fuckin creepy
Holiday Season Ambushes Hemp Shop Owner Luckily hemp store is only form of retail immune to seasonal economic sales fluctuations, or sales of any kind
Story of Santa Still Convincing to Children Story of Birth of Christianity increasingly less impressive to children
Man Expects Typo On His New Years Party Invitations Will Have Disasterous Results Caption meant to say please bring a bottle of wine was misprinted as I will ass fuck your wife
Being The Last Man Earth Conclusively Becomes Local Man's Only Chance Of Getting Laid After striking out several times at office Christmas party he realizes this could be a long wait, but thanks to degeneration of society he will always have porn
Since December 1999, Internet 45% More Boring, 65% More Racist Thanks to easier to use web programs, basic stupidity has finally ceased to be any obstacle to growth of bullshit on the web
Mascot For Furniture Store Finds Satisfaction In Alcohol The job makes me want to die, but since I've been drinking I want to steal more and die less
Human Skeleton Found In Mall Coin Fountain Christmas shoppers fail to notice it