Hey
DJ…Spin that wheel! I have always been a fan of live music. Since I was a wee
lad growing up in the rough working class slums of Bridal Falls, My friends and
I would go out of our way to see bands play. We would go even if we hadn’t
heard of the Band. It just seemed like the best thing to do. It seemed back then
their was at least a show a week, and they were not just local bands either
(although there were plenty of good ones back then) there were the giants. It
seemed that every weekend an incredible band from parts unknown would be playing
a show at one of the many venues that supported such acts. But times have
changed my friends, and it has changed for the worst.
I noticed
about a year ago that I had quit going to see live bands. I felt ashamed. Me,
Brodie Bruce, a one time respectable punk rocker, had turned my back on the live
music scene of Bridal Falls. I decided the only alternative besides suicide was
to quit wearing button down shirts, put the chain back on my wallet and hit the
clubs. I picked up the Bridal Falls Bullet to see who was playing where and
which giant would be in town this week. What I found shocked and depressed me so
much I had to look away. No one was playing this week. No one was playing next
week and no one played last week. Rock and Roll in Bridal Falls was dead…and I
was to blame. I’ll get to this in a second. Let me first talk about what has
replaced Rock…DJs
DJs have
taken over my city and I hate it. They have moved into any venue that used to
play live music and made them unbearably crappy. And it gets worse. Apparently
there are categories of DJs. House…electronica…hip hop…but whatever way
you scratch it, all they are doing is playing records. Abysmal. What’s worse
are they are playing records of OTHER DJs. They are ripping off someone who has
already ripped someone off. Confused? So am I. What gets me further perplexed is
this, is the original artist still being ripped off, or is he twice removed from
the situation so that it excuses blame of the second DJ? Whatever, If that E-tarded
loser would have learned to play an instrument instead of learning how to press
play I wouldn’t lie awake wondering about such trivial events.
It
doesn’t stop here. Everybody and their little sister are a DJ. Go to Whiteboy
night at any of your favorite venues. Three quarters of the people there (but
only one quarter of the IQ) are DJs. And don’t tell me that these people are
still playing live music. Just because the DJ is alive doesn’t make this live
music. The music he is playing is pre-recorded, hence not live. Let me give you
an example. “Hey I went to a wedding on the weekend.”
“Oh
really, did they have a live band at the reception?”
“No
just a DJ.”
Nobody
says they have a live DJ.
So here I
am back to the start of this tirade. Rock in Bridal Falls is dead. And DJs are
thriving. Who’s to blame? You and me.
You see,
when I stopped going to live shows a while back I guess you did to, I guess
everybody did. I don’t know why. We just did, and all the giants quit coming
to Bridal Falls because no one showed up to the gigs. Since no one showed up for
live music, venues quit booking live local bands. Bands had no where to play so
too many of them gave up. You can’t have a club with no music, so the venues
brought in DJs. All of a sudden the DJs began to think that they were more
important than the artists that they were playing and began to give themselves
funny names like Tommy Illfingers and propped themselves up to be celebrities.
Rock dies. The lights go out. Exit Elvis…stage right.
But ladies and germs it’s not to late…I have received word that a small band of guerrilla rock terrorists are building a resistance. But they need our help. All we have to do is start supporting live music again. The true giants are back. And with our help they can take bake what is rightfully theirs. The Bridal Falls club scene. Do your part.