Fuck the police
I hate cops. I hate the entire idea of giving a chunk of society the power to shoot the rest of us or lock us up, or give me endless numbers of parking and speeding tickets every god damned week. I hate that the most.
I know the signs are clearly posted, but jeoporadizing the safety of everyone by racing through the streets with my stereo blaring rock is the only thing that keeps me from actually killing all of you. And parking tickets, get serious. Since I get so many I have armed myself with several good arguments against them.
First off, as a communist I disagree with the whole concept of personal property, I believe in peoples ownership of the means of production and/or transportation. I believe we the public own the streets, by we the public I mean specifically me, therefore I have the right to park wherever the fuck I want.
My second argument, didn't we swipe this land from indian joe? If my memory of history is correct we just took this land, or swindled it by making lopsided trades of like Alberta for 10 chicken pox infected blankets. Wouldn't it be more fair for the Indians to be giving me the tickets since its really their land.
Actually, come to think of it, they should give us all tickets. No parking on this continent, violators will be tagged and towed. If my government can park its cities wherever the fuck it wants, why can't I. Hypocrites.
My third argument is that instead of playing the blame game of who parked where illegally we should be forward looking. Focusing on the past is a waste of time. Many wise people say things like you can't change the past, so why sweat about it. I agree 100%. Lets look to the future. Steven Hawking says the universe is expanding, think of all the parking space.
Cops keep giving me tickets, it bugs me. Secondarily I'm annoyed by the fact that all they seem to do is write tickets. What about solving crimes? Most people I know has been robbed, did they ever see their stuff again, no fucking way dog. Awesome, nice job Lieutenant Sipowitz.
Crimes go unsolved, because instead of Murtaugh and Riggs actual cops are more like the Keystone Cops.
We need police since some people are inherently slippery and sketchy and would probably slit my throat for a dollar, but I wonder if the police are even really preventing that anyway.
I have thought about joining the RCMP, which is the canadian FBI. Anyone who complains as much as I do about society should put their money where their mouth is. If I really wanted to help people it would make sense to join the people whose job it is to help people. I think in a different world I would make a good cop, I think I could help to improve society. What keeps me from bothering to join is that I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to help anyone.
The really bad shit usually happens before the cops ever get a chance to intervene. They collect the evidence, file the reports, and maybe testify in the trial. The victim is still murdered or robbed. Of course every now and then they probably save someone and that would be awesome, but for the most part they just have to watch human shit acting like fuckheads or give me tickets.
An interesting fact I learned from canadian and american statistics, all forms of crime except sexual and computer crimes are in decline in both canada and the us. Interested in crime stats? click here. It seems like crime is going up, but its actually just public knowledge of the reporting is increasing, the actual crime rates are dropping. Is it because of the cops, nope. Its because of technology baby. Technology makes it easier to spot and convict criminals, and most crimes are caused by repeat offenders. So the cops basically do fuck all. They serve the warrants or put the nab on the hood when they try to cheese it. Technology has given them the free time to harass me.
My closing remarks in this amazing piece of journalism. Thanks but no thanks you dickheads.