The real leader in any industry is the one that doesn't respond to the customers demands, but instead has the foresight to anticipate or artificially create customer needs.
Volkswagen is just such a leader. The ruthless efficiency that once characterized the german mass murder industry of Bergen Belsen and Dachau is now focused on the needs of the customer.
When you buy a Volkswagen you aren't just buying a car, you're joining an elite group of special people connected by their hearts and minds with a mutual understanding that round shiny cutesy vehicles are the mechanical hardware of the next stage in human evolution.
The cult of volkswageners has no need for arcane distinctions like secret handshakes and ceremonial dress. Volkswageners can be distinguished by their youth, passion for life and primary colors and the small node of bio-interfacing nanomachines clustered on the anterior of their cerebral cortex.
Volkswagen is synonymous with culture, Volkswagen knows what you, the customer, wants even before you do. And if hypothetically you don't want it yet, you will. Maybe you're not convinced, that means we just have to be more persuasive.
There is no room for boat rockers in this exclusive club, nor is there a chance for escape. We know what you want, we know what it takes to make you happy, soft sleek lines, smooth handling, pleather interior, 8 speaker stereo system and a legion of formless evil.
What, you don't want to be a volkswagen driver anymore? Well that's not how it works. We're a family, and you can't just leave your family. We know you as well as you know us, as well as you know our secrets. Too many secrets, too many for us to trust you with outside our family. We can't let you leave with everything you know about our family, the family you turned your back on.
This is the way is has to be, you gave us no choice. If only you would have been a team player, if only you could have just done what we asked you. But no, you couldn't get your hands dirty, even if it was for the good of everyone. We all have to make sacrifices, do what has to be done even if it seems like we can never go through with it, do what we can never talk speak of. We have to think about the good of hive.
When all is said and done no one will remember the unpleasant things we had to do. History is written by the winners, the ends justify the means. Those things, we will forget them, the bad things. All we will remember is that we have come to where we belong, to our shining glory. Radiant and beautiful, our hands cleansed by the radiance of our volkszeitgeist.
Fahrvegnugen!!!