"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." - Weight Watchers
motto
People make fun of fat people. I generally don't, but that's because for the last 8 years I have been
fat.
The reason I don't make fun of them is not that I feel sympathetic or protective of
them other tubbo's.
I just don't want to encourage any abuse that might come home to roost on me.
To be honest, I don't think being fat is a big deal, but of course that is what a fat ass
like me would say.
However, there is nothing particularly admirable about being superficial and shallow and judging people harshly based only on their appearance.
And yeah, I know that's also not a fresh idea. Its a tired cliche, but its also right.
But who cares about what's right, what I care about is what's funny.
If someone loses a lot of weight, like say 80 pounds, people will say
congratulations! What an achievement! Such willpower! But the only people who actually believe it took willpower are other fat people.
Maybe there are some skinny people who are sort of impressed. But its not the same kind of impressive as, say, placing first in an Ironman, studying hard to be the top of your class, or winning the lottery and buying a fancy car.
The way I see it is, yeah, sure it took a lot of work to lose that 80 pounds.
But it took a lot of sitting around like a tub of frozen shit to put on that 80 pounds.
If you weren't a greedy lazy slob with no self control you wouldn't have let yourself go so far that you needed to use a beach towel as a napkin.
Skinny people had the willpower not to become big fat balloons in the first place, and really, doesn't that deserve more credit?
It lacks the drama of a big personal turnaround, but most fat people yo-yo in weight so much that the drama truly is never ending, and, tedious.
The same goes for quitting smoking, you got your dumb ass hooked now didn't you, and its not like they didn't warn you.
If you do quit all you have done is managed to tolerate life at the same minimum level
of crutches as any regular person. Big deal.
So I am not impressed with people who lose weight. And people who get lyposuction might as well start with the skull.
Now then, I have lost about 60 pounds myself, and it took me 5 years, no joke.
I think that part makes it pretty funny. So-o, now I can feel superior to fat people who have only lost 59 pounds or less in 60 months or more.
In truth I also feel superior to normal and skinny people, but that's for other reasons of
my personal magnificence.
What happens when you are fat? People treat you differently. Most women are grossed out if they catch you looking at them.
It's probably because they're afraid you're thinking about having sex with them.
Of course being a desperate lonely fat person, you are.
The underlying point of all this is that people care about what is superficial.
Women are shallow, men are much worse.
But anyway, judging people based on their looks is considered by some to be a mechanism for the
benefit of the species. The thinking is that humans select a mate that we assume will give our offspring the best traits and have the best chance of survival, so we prefer mates who are
young, symmetrical, athletic and have good skin, and ideally ... hugeous
gazonga's.
What's weird is that good looks are also how gays select their mates. Not
so much probably when they're selecting their mates in clusters of 2 to 10, for 2 to 10 minute encounters in bathrooms and bushes.
But, food for thought. Anyway, when we make choices based on appearance we're just thinking ahead.
So when women are grossed out by a fat guy with his eyes all over them, its part
of their instincts in mate selection. Plus they might be considering the possibility of being stuck in some catastrophic emergency with a big fatso who can't stop eating.
She could be thinking about what might happen if the two of you wind up snowed in and trapped somewhere like a log cabin with
a large barbeque, no food, and just enough butter and maple syrup to cover, let's say, an adult human female.
I was getting lunch at a local restaurant franchise known as Tim Horton's, named after the famous football coach and nazi collaborator.
Anyway, Tim Horton died tragically in the 1980's in a binge at Studio 54. But before he did he
gave the world a legacy in the form of low quality, highly popular donut and coffee restaurants spreading across the nation faster than Beatlemania, or even beetlemania, the brain dissolving
neurological pathogen spread by beetle bites.
So I'm at Tim Horton's for lunch by myself, at a table eating a sandwich, and at a nearby table is a young woman eating soup and something.
She is probably 19 or 20, thin, maybe 5'7'' or 5'8''. She has a generic hairstyle, two tone dark and bleached kind of spiky pointy 80's looking hair.
Like a lot of girls it makes her look like a skunk fell onto her head which now will yield its new stronghold only in death.
Black yoga pants and a pink lycra top complete the look. There are at least 10,000 girls who look exactly like this in coffee shops and malls throughout the city.
She is flipping over the cover and through the front pages of a book. I notice the book has a public library sticker on the spine.
A slight surprise? That means she has a library card and that means she probably knows how to read.
Or, she just swiped the book from someone who does. But if she does have a library card that means she probably at least has the intention of reading more than one book in her life, and also that she's got no money.
Then I noticed the title and the author's name on the cover of the book. The author is Dan Brown(author of the da vinci code).
The book she had was titled in big letters on the cover Deception Point. Currently on Amazon.com this particular novel is available starting at $0.49.
Maybe getting a library card was a little too hasty. Also, do I have a problem with Dan Brown?
Yup.
At least its a book. But its written by Dan Brown so that pretty much wipes out 90% of the plus of reading.
And the title of this book is Deception Point.
Book title or not, that statistically unlikely word pairing is bullshit.
It suggests he is trying to use Deception as an adverb, or maybe even a
fucking adjective! But deception is a noun. And point in this case is
logically a noun such as a physical place or a moment in time, or it could mean a premise or assertion of an argument.
It is an unlikely possibility that he means point as a verb, like as in point
your finger at the hack writer, but then the title would make even less
sense. Two nouns means it is like calling something penis mountain. Calling it Deception Point implies it must be a natural
formation or place, like Easter Island.
I think I have made my point about the book's title and author. But I guess the book she was reading could still have been worse, it could have been a book
on Buddhism.
So I make all these assumptions about this random girl based entirely on what I see.
But I actually don't know anything about her, she could be a thoracic surgeon, an international
assassin, a waitress.
And even if I did know that much about her, even then its all just the top layer.
I don't know if she's a good person or an evil monster. She could be supporting a sick mother, and working her way through med school by building houses for orphans, and on the weekend she takes retards horseback riding to the zoo.
Or she could be a sadist paying her way through college working as a stripper.
As my friend says about strippers, sure, they're all working their way through college.
My point is that I am going only by the surface, and I don't really know anything about
that girl except for what is on the surface.
Naturally I am going to assume the worst, but anyway, you can't judge a book by its cover.
Get it?