| In this season of
spending more time at home you might just be looking for some easy ways
to make your home safer. One way to do that is to make your house
safe against the dangers of fire.
So here I go stealing a joke concept from the onion and present you with some: Tips for Fire Safety in your home |
 |
One possible route for fire to spread is from a neighbors burning house to your own. To prevent this from happening it is better to be prepared in advance by burning down the homes of all your neighbors.
Children playing with matches and lighters frequently lead to accidents and tragedies in the home. Be certain never to have any children.
Make certain that you refill the fire extinguisher in your home based crystal meth lab at least once every six months.
To prevent accidental combustion of any stored ammunition be sure and leave all bullets in your handguns and leave them within easy reach such as the fridge or on the couch or easy chairs.
Electrical fires are often the result of overloaded circuits so instead of overloading power outlets use gasoline or slave powered home appliances.
When killing yourself with a toaster in the bathtub be sure that the tub is not actually made of any steel alloys and that the toaster is appropriately grounded.
Oily rags and newspapers are highly combustible so keep them stored them in a cool dark place, such as next to the furnace or water heater.
If you suspect a fire might be happening on the other side of a closed door, check the door first to see if it is hot, check under the door for signs of smoke or other telltale signs of fire. Do not open the door until you are certain its ... OH MY GOD THE FIRE SNUCK UP BEHIND YOU!!!
Careless smokers often have accidents while smoking in bed, so before each late night cigarette drink 7 or 8 cups of coffee.
Pre-burn all your plastic, foam and fiberglass in your fireplace.
Plan your escape route out of your house in advance. It is extremely important to prevent confusion during an emergency, so make sure there is only one possible escape route by barricading all other windows and doors so that you don't lose your focus.
Test your smoke detector battery once every 5000 months.
The storage of old paint cans is actually a very serious fire hazard so dispose of all unused paint by throwing the paint and cans into the nearest lake or river.
If you live with a family or there are multiple people in your home practice regular fire drills to keep their skills sharp. To do this the most realistically, set fire to a small corner of your house and wait outside to see how long it takes them to figure it out.