my october

new shit, everything must be new, nothing must be old!

dismember 0001 AD

b i r d w a t c h i n g g u i d e f o r s e n i o r s

h o w t o h a t e e v e r y t h i n g

nevember 0001 AD

t h e w o r l d s u c k s

spocktober 0001 AD

r a t r a c e s

h o w t o g e t f i r e d

craptember 0001 AD

n o p a r k i n g

t h e 2's d a y c h r o n i c l e s

Aw, Gus! 0001 AD

s h o w n o m e r c y

h o w t o d i f f u s e a t i c k i n g t i m e b o m b

e l n i n o?

r a z o r f i s h

c u l t o f t h e b a b y

Jolly Julie 0001 AD

t a k i n o u t t h e t r a s h

June 0001 AD

t o d a y i s n ' t s p e c i a l

i ' m a l b e r t a n

a n g e r y

u p d a t e

MAYONAISSE 0001 AD

a s a l u t e t o t h e h u m o r i s t s

t h e m u m m y

t h e p o l i c e

t i n y a n a r c h i s t s m a k e m e s i c k

i m p r e s s i v e d?

April-io 0001 AD

m o s t l y h a r m l e s s

a n d m a y b e i ' m a c h i n e s e j e t p i l o t

Morch 0001 AD

h a l o h a l o i t s t h u r s d a y

3 6 0 d e g r e e s o f c h e e s e

b l u e t h u n d e r

m o r e p r e a c h y b u l l s h i t?

Schmebruary 0001 AD

d u d e, w h e r e ' s m y o s c a r?

l o c k s s u c k

w i c c a n

e g o s h m e g o

h o w t o m a k e a s o l i d g o l d s t a t u e o f

y o u r s e l f

g a l a p a g o s

Cranbruary 0001 AD

f a h r v e g n u g e n

g o o d o l d d a y s

b e s t o f t h e w e b

3 - 2 - 1 B R A S T O F F

s h o p p i n g a t b e r n i e s

Dismember

h e a d l i n e s

w i s h l i s t

r a n d o m w e b c r a p

B e a r A t t a c k

K r a z y K o w s

m a s t h e a d

g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l r e t u r n

November Rain

w i n t e r m o v i e r o d e o

w h a t t h e s h i t ?

c o m p u t e r s t o r e

Sock-toe-bore

g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l p a r t 2

h e a d l i n e s

m u c h s u c k s

t h a n k s g i v i n'

p. s. i l o v e y o u

s c r e w n i v e r s i t y

S E P T E M B E R

Sep-tim-bor

s h o n d a b o t

g u e s t w r i t e r g i r l

s p l e e n v e n t i n g

August

l a t e n i g h t t v

g r a t i n g e x p e c t a t i o n s

m i n e s w e e p e r

u n d e r s t a n d i n g w i t c h e s

s c i e n c e

July

m y c a t t h e k a m i k a z e e

m a k i n c h a n g e

f a l l i n g a p a r t

b l a s t o f f

a i r s a f e t y

June to be forgotten

b e i n g b r i t i s h

n e a t a n d p e r f e c t l y s a f e p r o g r a m

d o n t s h a k e t h e b a b y e-c a r d

w a n d e r i n g

P l a t y p u s s y

May the schwarz be with you

O r i g i n s

D o l p h i n s

H e a d l i n e s

5 t h i n g s t h a t s u c k

S a n i t y ?

April Whining

T e c h s u p p o r t

D e a t h s e a r c h

B u i l d y o u r o w n g u n

B l e e d m e

W a l k m a n ' s f l a m i n g o ' s s o y l e n t g r e e n

Lousy Smarch

M a z d a o f t h e u n i v e r s e

S p h e r e s?

R o l e M o d e l

D i a r y o f a m a d m a n

A P r o f e s s i o n a l M o z a r t

E a r l ' s G a m e

S t u d e n t C o u n s e l

D y s e n t a r y

February Shmebruary

T h y m e f o r l i v i n

L e t a f r o w n b e y o u r u m b r e l l a

T h e Students

N a s h B r i t c h e s

S l e e p i t o f f

January of the damned

T h e t i n y a r m o f t r u t h

D i f f r e n t S t r o k e s

M r N i c e g u y

P a p e r c h a s e

R e l a t i v i t i n e s s

f e e l i n g n u t s ?

December of the disappointed

m e r r y j e s u s d a y

w h a t d e f i n e s m e

N o t a l l g i r l s l i k e p i a n i s t s

u n m a r k e t

B a l l m a r t

c e n t u r y r o u n d u p

show me all this other writing I've heard so much about

Multi-dynamic-express-news-media-center

what do people this week think about:

G e o r g e W e n e r g y s c h e m e s

feedback center

a s k t h e c o a c h

send us email

t h i s s i t e b l o w s

guest writerz

B r o d i e B r u c e

B r i g h t o n

G u e s t w r i t e r G i r l

muzak

d o n t s h a k e t h e b a b y r a d i o

manifesto

w h y d o a l l t h i s c r a p?

Omni-bot or Terminator unit? you say potato, I say potata

I know a guy who has an omni-bot, which is a small remote controlled robot. Unlike R2D2 it can't repair a broken tie fighter wing, or actually do anything at all. But I tell you, when you use the remote for this thing you can't help but think of that old star trek episode where M-5 seized control of the enterprise and Kirk destroyed it by presenting it with a logical paradox. Or when Landru discovered Kirk and Spock were not of the body and Kirk destroyed it by presenting it with a logical paradox. Kasparov should have hit deeper blue with a paradox, then he might have beaten it. This rant is aimless and dated. I suck!

Anyone wanna kiss my ass?

Nobody ever sucks up to me. It bugs me, I deserve to be sucked up to as much as any stupid nightclub doorman or useless celebrity. Why don't people kiss my ass?

And another thing, why aren't I rich? Why doesn't someone cancel Hollywood Squares already? Who invented minivans, that guy needs a punch in the face. Followed up with a fast kick in the danglies.

Probevember 9999

1 2 I n c h P i a n i s t | K i r b y ' s L a m e n t | S h a r k s R F u n | F o x | S o l o n g
K i d s f o r S a l e | D e a t h t o W e a s e l ! | A n e w h o p e

show me all this other writing I've heard so much about