A guy I knew once said something funny which I remember to this day, which I suppose is obvious, but what he said was this. Its not enough to be nice, anyone can be nice.
He was speaking of people who wanted to be his friend, and at first it sounded pretty callous, egotistical and arrogant. Luckily none of those qualities really bothers me. Not just because those qualities describe me, which they do. Some people think I am full of myself, which is fair, but believe me when I say I know I suck. I am as flawed as anybody, but talking about your flaws isn't typically very interesting or funny. Actually sometimes is it, but anyway.
I find people with comically big ego's who say outrageous things very funny, which is one of the many reasons why I love the homos. Gay men are all outrageousness, which is super funny, but I'm getting sidetracked.
What I am saying is that being nice is not necessarily equivalent to being good. Any thief, pimp, rapist, murderer, Disney lawyer or any other all around asshole can act nice when you meet them. Truly there are certain character defining moments when they aren't very nice to their victims, but if you don't witness it, how would you know? You wouldn't, so you would probably think they were a good person.
I like to keep my distance from people I don't know unless they approach me first, not because I'm shy, which I really am, but because I don't want to get all up in they bidness(business). I like to mind my own business. So I rarely speak to people I haven't been introduced to. Vice versa I appreciate it when people don't just randomly talk to me, unless they are women type people trying to get laid by me, in which case I make an exception. But otherwise I don't talk to strangers, so as a result people who don't know me think I am not a very warm person. That doesn't make me sound very nice, but am I bad person? Nope.
Being polite is easy, which is something I strongly recommend. I consider it polite to say please and thank you, hold open doors, not shove or pull hair. Respecting other people is good, but pretending to care about people is dishonest and bad.
Here's something I noticed. Lots of people fake caring about other people. They are full of smiles and pleasantness because they are trying to manipulate others. So they act nice, which is assumed to be synonymous with being good, but its all an act. They may be nice to you, but not bother to mention that they are sleeping with your girlfriend, or that they told your boss that you usually drink 7 beers with your lunch.
Some people are nice just because they want to be more popular, which usually means they place popularity above being honest. That is not awesome. It also means they will probably be nice rather than telling you something you might need to hear but won't like. That may be supportive but not actually be very helpful. Like when they tell you that you should quit your lawyer job and start a home based business selling hand crafted solid iron decorative shoebox Three's Company stage diorama's.
We naturally want to think the best of people, which I believe is good because over all people are not so bad. But people can be bad and still act nice. All I'm saying is be careful, there's some motherfuckin phonies out there.
So there you have it, finally I have the guts to take a stand against something, and that something is being nice. Wow, am I an asshole.