"So ... what do you think about ... robots?" was the last thing I said, and the last thing I could think of, which she took as her cue to exit the conversation.
I totally understood her reaction, the conversation was in trouble already.
And I'm also pretty drunk at this point. And its a school night.
Figuring out what does and doesn't work with women is a long process of trial and error, especially since as much as movies and magazines would have you believe otherwise, every woman is actually different.
But there are a few givens that I've picked up on as topics to avoid when talking to women, such as, other women, stupid drinking stories, Chewbacca, Star Trek, the incremental growth of my addiction to chaos, oh and robots.
The girl I was talking to, who I had just met a few weeks earlier seemed to be showing the some of initial signs of attraction.
I caught her looking at me every now and then, she remembered things I had said, and she had started lilting her voice when she saw me and said my name.
Sometimes when I'm talking I pause, and sometimes I stop speaking. I am standing facing this girl and I am not saying anything, and its not because I'm scared, its because I don't want the next thing I say to be as stupid as the things I usually say.
She's waiting for me to say something, but I don't. So the silence grows, has a baby, the baby puts a cigarette out on its arm and leaves.
"Did you know there is an Armenian name that is spelled differently, but in English sounds like the word 'comedian?'"
"Is that true?"
"That depends, did you think it was funny?"
"Actually, I don't get why that would be funny."
Anyway, why am I drunk? It all started 3 hours earlier when I met up with some friends for a birthday dinner and drink. My plan was have a drink, hang out, head home early.
By the way, that has never happened once. As soon as the first drink hits my lips a bell rings, a bomb blows up a dam and a fat man belly flops
onto a wedding cake.
Ding!
Anyway, earlier in the evening a friend of mine's girlfriend told me a story which I thought was pretty funny.
The story starts with her buying a bag of potato chips from the corner store, or corner shop if you're from England.
The chips apparently had gone bad, but it can be hard to tell with chips, I have even noticed this quality in chips myself.
So the chips made her sick, and she was puking and so on, and then a guy she works with came to pick her up to give her a ride to work. She is too sick to go to work, but the guy, being a gentleman offers to go to the store and pick her up some
medicine to make her feel better. So she asks him to get her something.
Her boyfriend, the friend of mine, who has apparently been present for this entire thing so far, asks her work friend to pick something up for him too. So what does he ask her work friend to pick up?
A large bag of chips and some dip, which he then eats in front of her while they watch TV.
Hilarious! She thought it was pretty funny, which was why she told me the story, and she was right.
Now I am more oblivious than Chewbacca is hairy, so it amuses me to hear stories of social obliviousness
about others. I guess its just nice to know I'm not the only idiot.